scruple of Duryodhana

I’m so anxious.

I can’t handle myself under this anxiety.
Tonight, when Goddess Ratih appear on my window, I see the pallor face of mine through the pond.

Batara Kala, the Lord of evilness , terror and horror is grinning.
Is that him, or is that me? The pale-faced mighty king of Hastinapura, is that someone else, or is that my own reflection? I am Duryodhana the king of Kuru.

Tomorrow I will face the greatest sorrow in human-kind history or triumph of joyfulness. Tomorrow I shall reap the seeds that i’ve been scattered around the field. Tomorrow I shall see the destiny of my majestic family, The Kurawas, buried with victorious winning or shameful lose. Tomorrow, in Kurusetra field the Bharatayuddha will be perform.

Is that a blood-thirsty rakshas, or is that the picturesque of my soul?
I look upon the reflection again, and it’s still me.
The great king of Hastinapura, is that me, or is that suppose to be Yudhistira?

Oh... the five sons of Pandu, The Pandawas, they had filled my heart with jealousy and hatred since the beginning.
My sadness, my ambition and my animosity are taking control of ninety-nine brothers of Kurawa.

Is that my mistake, or is that just the way it is should be done?
Karma, the answer of my prayer. The Gods had left me alone, I lose their grace and mercy. But eventough the whole universe are turning around their face from me, I will never regret my decision.

No kings will stand beside me, they knew I’d done wrong.
No devas will assist on my side, they already saw me as the sinner.
The tip of Arjuna’s arrow shall not injure me, the swords of Nakula and Sahadeva shall not harm me, the weapon of Yudhistira shall not kill me, but the gada’s of
Bhima will deplete my breath.

I will not give up.

The screen of a new century has just extended. The war is in front of my room’s door. And this kingdom shall be vanish or continous under their feet. I have Karna, Salya, and great heroes from Kurawas family. I have millions of soldiers. I have Drona, Krepa, Sakuni, and even Bhisma Dewabrata.
I am Duryodhana, the reign-king of Hastinapura.

Bharatayuddha, beware, because the magnificent maharaja is on his departure!